UPDATE: NOH8 Campaign

Hello My Lovely Readers!

In January I told you about my AMAZING experience posing for the NOH8 campaign with my sister. Need a refresher? You can see the post HERE.

As Promised, here are the photos of the shoot:

You can also CLICK HERE to open the link to photos in the NOH8 photo gallery.

You will also see some of the people and artists who posed with us that day. 

I don't normally like to get all overtly political*, [um, see footnote below] but I guess I should give you some background.

Where Did The Chivalry Go?

Is chivalry dead? I’ve heard this saying for some time now and I wonder if it’s true.

Is opening a car door, opening an entrance door, the holding of an elevator door, or offering up a seat a lost art? What about the woman walking on the inside of the street? Or facing the entrance door of a restaurant when it comes to seating? Are these antiquated notions created by medieval practices that are no longer relevant?

Even if they are, I like the idea of chivalry. I like when a man shows that he respects a woman as an equal yet behaves like a gentleman.  I've always been very vocal about that, so chivalry has never been a problem when it comes to dating. But in every day life, I think it's almost nonexistent.

PROJECT REPORT - Amazing Opportunity for Aspiring Journalists!

YouTube Project Report, in partnership with the Pulitzer Center, has presented a great opportunity for an aspiring journalist.

This is your chance to shed light on a day in the life of a person YOU think the world should know about, as well as the positive impact s/he is making in her/his community. 

Family. You Cant Live With 'Em. Can You Live Without 'Em?

Growing up in a large Puerto Rican household, [five aunts, one uncle, thirty-five cousins just on my maternal side] everyone knew everyone's business. And better than that, every one comments on everyone's business. Always.



We are never supposed to speak bad about our elders (aunts, uncles, parents and especially grand parents) to anyone outside the family. Nor can you express your opinion about their behavior to them directly. Why? Because it's disrespectful. Even as I write this, I am reminded of my mothers recent comment to me: "I hope you're not writing about the family." Oh but I am...

My Biological Clock is...

Ticking? Not Ticking? How do you know? Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) of My Cousin Vinny (1992) was pretty clear that it was time for her to have a baby.


And according to society and cultural norms for Latinas, at thirty, I should be married and having babies. I'm only thirty and I should be married and having babies???!!!!

Sheesh. I'm friggin thirty.
I'm not married.
I have no babies.
Have I failed?

Cultural Divide

I recently read a blog about the division in Latin culture. The post specifically discussed the division between Puerto Ricans and Dominicans. I thought it was a brave discussion, because for the most part, we'd rather ignore the issue rather than confront it. 

After reading the article, here is what I was inspired to write: 

Many of us are afraid to bring up the prejudices in our culture, for fear of offending one over the other. I myself am writing with some trepidation.


I have cousins that are half Puerto Rican and half Dominican. Because the rest of our family is Puerto Rican, they choose sides to “represent” – but why do they have to? It makes absolutely no sense to me.


...But the prejudices go beyond these two beautiful Caribbean islands. My boyfriend is half Puerto Rican and half Ecuadorian [he calls himself BorEcua] and he too has to choose sides when it comes to being with each side of his family. It gets to a point where one may feel that they are not accepted fully by either culture because they are "mixed.”


I think the bias derives from...a desire to label one culture "better" than the other: For example, the notion of the jibaro (country folk) versus the city folk; one being more educated than the other; one being more “Spanish” than the other; one more pure than the other. Which in essence is Racism, whether we choose to see it or not.


If you think about the movie, “I Like It Like That” the character played by Rita Moreno has a line about being of “pure Castillian blood.” Why is that so important? Who cares? What is “pure” anyway? Why is there a fight over which speaks the better Spanish? Or who is more sophisticated? We sure don’t fight over who is more Taino or who is more African. Why? After all these years it still boils down to RACE. Therein lies our prejudices. And it really is a shame.


New York is quite the salad bowl of cultures, where we don’t have to assimilate to get by – we can just be who we are and express where we come from. Where we can eat mofongo or mangu, drink a Malta or make Morir Soñando, and no one cares.

...There is so much division in every culture, we can at least do our very best to stay united within the Latin Culture…because divided, we will only fall.

What do you think? Do you think our prejudices are based on Race? Or something different altogether?


While you consider this, I'd like to leave you with two quotes, that I think are fitting: 

"I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to" -Alice Walker


"We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic." -Jimmy Carter

The Ying and The Yang

If I could pinpoint a common theme in the thread of my existence, I would say it was Duality. As a young college student I was deeply touched by John Donne’s themes of pleasure and pain in his poetry. There could not be pleasure without pain, and often times, one would essentially meld into the other. The theme in his poetry struck a chord in me, as it seemed to be along the same lines of the ying and the yang: happiness complimenting sadness; light shining through the dark; and other related forms of duality, which have always fascinated me. I think the reason for this may be that, as a Puerto Rican woman, I find there is a duality in the facets of my life. 


I was born and raised in New York, yet I have a strong attachment to my culture as a Puertorriqueña. As a child, my mother pulled my sister and me out of school at least three times a year to spend at least three months in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. There we learned about the island, had freedom to frolic outside, were taught to celebrate our roots, and practiced the Spanish language on a continuous level. Then, when we came back to Brooklyn, we would remain indoors, and I would have to read words in dictionaries to avoid forgetting to speak in English and to avoid the mispronunciation of English words. We were free in Puerto Rico, and caged birds in New York. 


This may be related to the sense of trust and comradery my mother felt on the Island, as opposed to the fear and isolation she felt in New York. As such, I witnessed a duality in my mother; she struggled to maintain her identity as a Puerto Rican woman without being pigeonholed by stereotypes. She struggled to teach us our heritage so we wouldn’t become part of a melting pot; instead to be a functioning part of a salad bowl.


In the media, Latina’s are frequently depicted as primarily sexual beings who nurture their partners and families, yet have hot tempers. Now, this depiction has lessened in recent years, but I find that it’s still prevalent in film and on television. Nevertheless, this is only one aspect of any woman.

Aside from their sexuality, many women are enthusiastic about education, are zealous in pursuit of their careers, and are passionate when it comes to family and relationships. And if you look closely, there is a duality there, and hopefully, a balance. Despite the strides we have made in modern times, Latinas are still expected to be married and start a family by a certain age. With that underlying pressure there is also a stronger pull that stems from modern thought to become independent, educated and successful outside of any marriage and family. In this day and age, where does this duality come from?


It is my belief that two forms of thought have been the primary players in forming this duality. There is the cultural influence of a machista attitude of a woman’s role in learning to care for the home, be demure, and behave as proper women should behave in order to be married and have a family to care for. Then there is the influence of a feminist mentality, in pursuing an education, a career, being able to take care of oneself and be a completely independent and self-sustaining individual, perhaps without the need for marriage or family.  Latin women of my generation are especially equipped because of this dualistic upbringing, rather than in spite of it. Being exposed to these two types of thinking has influenced a generation of women who want it all – and certainly get it, by taking the most positive elements of both modes of thought and creating something that suits them completely.


I am proud to say that I am a member of this generation. I think these modes of thought have made me a well-rounded person. Maintaining cultural values is important. And so is cultivating new ones. It is important to embrace who we are and where we come from, even with the apparently opposing sides - the ying and the yang. I know that these facets make up the whole of who I am as an individual and as a Puerto Rican woman. For that I am grateful.



*The images in this post is of an art piece in my home which I created, depicting opposing images of myself.

Hispanic Heritage Month: I Honor My Culture. I Honor Myself.

I grew up in a very sheltered environment with parents that came from Puerto Rico. I didn't understand the differences in race and culture for a very long time. All I ever knew was that I loved Puerto Rico and I loved being Puerto Rican. But I didn't see the differences in myself when compared to the appearance of others. However, I do remember playing with dolls as a child and not finding any that looked like me. For a long time I didn’t see myself as beautiful because I wasn’t fair skinned or blonde like the dolls. I was jealous of my Puerto Rican cousins who were. Then one day I got Hawaiian Barbie, and I thought, wow, she looks like me! But, she wasn't Puerto Rican. She wasn't Hispanic.

On TV I always sought to find someone like me. Felicia Rashaad’s character Mrs. Huxtible, although not Latin, opened up a world of possibilities for me: an attorney, a mom, who was dark, stunning & spoke Spanish. I was amazed & thought, that could be me! A billingual woman on television was HUGE for me! It was so close to home. Then, I remember being really excited when I saw a Latin girl on Reading Rainbow!

I think that’s why my parents always pointed out the Hispanics/Latinos in the media that were successful. They wanted me to see the possibilities for my future, rather than the negative portrayals of Hispanics in the media. So, as a kid, I was thrilled when I learned about Linda Carter being part Mexican, Christy Turlington being part Salvadorian, Rita Moreno being Puerto Rican, Geraldo Rivera, Raquel Welch, Rita Hayworth and the list goes on and on. I grew up embracing every part of my culture, and eventually of myself, looking for it in every facet of my little world.

It's always been hard to find positive and accurate representations of ones culture in the media. To this day I am excited to meet someone who embraces their own culture, their roots, and shares it with everyone - especially if they are in a public forum (ahem - Hon. Sotomayor!) It’s up to us to voice our opinions in the hopes that we will be HEARD. And it's up to us to remember that we represent our heritage with every choice we make.

Let's remember to embrace our culture. Always.

___________________________________________________________________

Footnotes

1. The above was orginally a comment I posted on 9-7-09 in response to a blog from one of my favorite bloggers.

2. Hispanic Heritage Month begins on September 15, 2009.

The Four Ma's

An old couple regardless of cultural background or social status may call each other 'ma' and 'pa,' as terms of endearment. This I don't mind.

The stereotypical urban male will try to get the attention of an attractive woman and call her 'ma' as opposed to 'miss.' THIS I mind. I am not anyones 'ma,' and I have been known to stop in my tracks and snarl my non 'ma' status at such men.

And then there is the third 'ma,' which is an attempt at politeness really bugs me, especially if my significant other [s.o.] is at the register and says 'thanks ma,' to the middle-aged cashier. Why would he call her 'ma?' She's neither a spouse nor some attractive girl. I'm his attractive s.o. and he calls me 'whachudoin?'

Why do men do this? Women don't go around calling strange men 'pa' regardless of their attractive nature or for the sake of being polite.

Men and their freakin "Ma's"

Let's just stick to the first & original 'Ma' which is only reserved for" your mother."

THE DAY WE MADE HISTORY

The Inauguration of Obama - Oh what a day this will be.

When the polls came in two months ago, I thought, this cannot be real. I started to clap and cry and I ran down my stairs to my mother's apartment yelling, "He won, He won!" Earlier that day, My eighty nine year old grandfather and seventy eight year old grand mother went to vote. I went with my sister and my mother (who was in crutches) to vote. Later that afternoon I took by seventy year old uncle to vote. And He Won.

Never did I ever think this would happen in my lifetime. But I am so glad to have witnessed the day we made HISTORY.


I will be watching tomorrow at noon!