Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Change: Uncomfortable, yet necessary
I don't know what it is but I feel that this year holds some spectacular energy and that it really is going to be amazing. I'm just not tapping into that energy right now.
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Just a few weeks into the year, and I've already started to go through some major changes in my life. I gotta be honest - It's uncomfortable. Like a trip to the gynecologist is uncomfortable. Like the dentist is uncomfortable. Bearable, necessary, yet "when is this part gonna be over" uncomfortable.
I'm not usually the type to waver in a decision, but I'm just taking my time to figure out whether or not to move to Los Angeles. I've put a pin in it because emotionally I feel like I've gone through the ringer. And as much as I keep trying to remind myself that I'm a FIREWORK, I kinda just want to be in my bed this very minute.
Why am I feeling this way? I'm just thinking about how my much anticipated trip to L.A. went from total excitement to wanting to get on the next flight home.
My trip didn't start as planned* but I put on my SuperMujer cape and said, "I will go it alone!" [insert resounding superhero voice here.]
Then here's what happened: outside of the awesome people I spent time with (I am thankful for you!), my experience was colored by fear and loneliness when I didn't have those awesome people around me. Fear and loneliness are the world's worst travel companions.
As a result, I didn't give the place a real chance. I didn't allow myself to see it because my eyes were clouded by Fear and Loneliness, who had their meaty hands covering my eyes. I haven't given up on it though- that's why I need to go back to California at least one more time before I make my final decision. I also need a real vacation, but that's another post.
I'm trying to remind myself that I went out to L.A. alone and that in and of itself was courageous. Like, pound my chest courageous. Like I'm King of the friggin' jungle courageous. And I need to keep telling myself that, over and over, acknowledging the big step I took.
It was also brave to allow myself to communicate my plans and let others guide me and connect me with new people. I allowed myself to rely on others for advice, to meet up with me, etc. I allowed myself to be helped. Another huge accomplishment for someone like me.
This trip let me know that I CAN do it. And I can do it alone. There's no doubt about that. The only question is, do I want to? [Insert pin here.] The reality is, I will have times when I'm not busy with work and I will want to turn to my family and friends. And I don't want Fear and Loneliness chillin' in my L.A. apartment during those times. So this little pin is just there to help me sort out my feelings, and to give those asses the boot.
While I manage my discomfort with all this change, I remind myself (lots of self talk) that this is how we grow and become the people we are meant to become. This is necessary. This is how we take care of ourselves, by going through uncomfortable changes that will nurture the seeds in us that are ready to flourish.
*Sorayu & Che couldn't make it because of her work schedule, the actors who had started to plan this trip with me flakedr; Buttercup is recording her album; and I didn't bring my mother for fear she would see a bad neighborhood and panic, etc.
Monday, January 30, 2012
LushLunes: Dream Big. Dream Fierce.
The words of Viola Davis at the SAG Awards moved me to tears: "Dream Big. Dream Fierce." To that all I can say is YES!!!!
Today's mission simply requires reflection on one important concept: What is your biggest dream? From the simple goal of allowing yourself the permission to be happy, to the grandiose (yet attainable) concept of winning an award for your works, embrace whatever that dream is and meditate on it. Then share it with the world.
Own it. Live it. Have a LushLunes my deep thinkers.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Celebrate The Movies: The Oscars!
I spent my life growing up watching movies every weekend with my family. It was an event... no one spoke or interrupted. Or at least that's how I remember it. I was so engrossed in the films that long after they were over I'd repeat the lines to myself, recreating the magic... it's no wonder I gravitated toward acting.
I love film! It can be so powerful in its' ability to move you, make you laugh, smile, and cry...sometimes in the same hour. The stories on screen stir the imagination and the soul ...which is truly a remarkable feat especially for those who have a difficult time suspending disbelief (like Che!).
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| My photo of "The Film Director ", a sculpture by Andrew Rogers |
I am thrilled for the actors and films that have been nominated this year! You can read more about them in this Back Stage article: "'Hugo' and 'The Artist' Lead With Most Oscar Nominations.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Main Ingredient is: LOVE
A few weeks ago my mom was sick and I really didn't know what to do in terms of food. The kitchen and I are no strangers but we're not like best friends or anything.
I have to be in the mood to cook. Music playing, dancing about with the right ingredients, unrestrained to work my magic... that's the way uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it. There is also this thing called "time." I don't have a lot of it to devote to cooking, but that week, boy oh boy was I quite the little chef.
Ok calling myself a "chef" is stretching it, but I did good by my sick-y mom. Since the season calls for soup, I wanted to share one of two quickie soup recipes that I tried, and loved, that were really manageable for this time-challenged non-chef.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
LushLunes: Here Comes the Grooming
I used to say, " if my job were to be hot, then I'd be awesome at it," meaning if I had all the time in the world to prep, primp, and pump iron like celebs do, then I wouldn't roll out of bed, take a 10 minute shower, and look like a wet chihuahua in the morning.
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| picture of my Glamour Magazine, February 2012 issue, p. 64. |
But looking our best IS our job. Why? Because We've got to look our best in order to feel our best.
Here's where your mission comes in:
Friday, January 20, 2012
Coast to Coast: The Courage to Change
Travel is all about the experience. I'm back from Los Angeles, a trip I took solita, and I learned a lot. The most important thing I learned is that God totally has my back. I knew this, of course, with the whole Universe-working-in-our favor talk, but sometimes it's good to have the reminder.
While in Los Angeles, I was surrounded by people that were totally uplifting and supportive, and for that I am grateful. The following post is sort of a play by play, so if you hang on 'til the end, you might get the gist of what I've been teasing you with over the past few months.
While on the other Coast, I met with a lot of people who really made the experience worthwhile.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Jet-setting: Get Your Tube Socks
Change is in the air my friends... can you feel it?
Daring to try new things is exciting and scary and
slide-across-your-living-room-in-socks-crazy! 2012 is exploding with this kind of energy, and I'm so grateful for it.
Well I've got my white tube socks on and am ready to slide across my living room floor, cuz this New Yorker is taking a wessside vacation.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tres Leches Cake (for the Baking Challenged)
Che has been talking about tres leches cake for over a week. He loves it, my mom loves it... but me? Eh, not so much.
After three failed attempts at trying to purchase tres leches, it was serendipitous that I stumbled across a recipe on the Tiki Tiki.
I'm not a baker, nor am I a chef, so this was an experiment. Well, I followed the recipe and made the most delicious tres leches cake EVERRR!
After three failed attempts at trying to purchase tres leches, it was serendipitous that I stumbled across a recipe on the Tiki Tiki.
I'm not a baker, nor am I a chef, so this was an experiment. Well, I followed the recipe and made the most delicious tres leches cake EVERRR!
My tres leches cake, with cool whip on top & blueberries...mostly devoured.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Forget Skinny: Be Stronger
Nothing feels better than completing a kick-ass work out.
I notice that when I don't work out for an extended period of time, my body and my mental state really suffers. Why? Because I feel lethargic, my mind gets bogged down with thoughts, and caffeine just doesn't compare to endorphins.
I notice that when I don't work out for an extended period of time, my body and my mental state really suffers. Why? Because I feel lethargic, my mind gets bogged down with thoughts, and caffeine just doesn't compare to endorphins.
It's not about being skinny... no. I'm petite, but I'm curvy and I love my curves. My focus is on being stronger, leaner, and feeling good. In this respect the NTC app has been pretty amazing.
Monday, January 9, 2012
LushLunes: First, Love Yourself
New Years call for new beginnings, and what a fresh way to start than by kicking off your Monday with LushLunes?
Today I want you to think about how you show yourself love - how is your inner self talk? How often do you allow yourself to be put first? Do you allow yourself to wind down and how often? These are some things to consider...and in a guilt-free way.
I think about this a lot when I vanish my negative thoughts or feel down. I correct any actions that may indicate I'm not embracing who I am, flaws and all. And then I implement ways to treat myself better.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Intentions into Action: 2012
Where have I been? It's 2012 and I haven't posted yet. But this is a good thing!
Like my fellow Latinas (and women in general) I tend to juggle too many projects, obligations and I take on too much responsibility for others.
I've decided that this year I must prioritize my passions. And the business of acting is first.
That doesn't mean I'm abandoning my deep thinkers, my partner, family friends, or my volunteerism. Never! I am loyal, after all. It just means I'm not going to stress if I slow down occasionally. And neither should you!
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