Friday, January 20, 2012

Coast to Coast: The Courage to Change

Travel is all about the experience. I'm back from Los Angeles, a trip I took solita, and I learned a lot. The most important thing I learned is that God totally has my back. I knew this, of course, with the whole Universe-working-in-our favor talk, but sometimes it's good to have the reminder. 

While in Los Angeles, I was surrounded by people that were totally uplifting and supportive, and for that I am grateful. The following post is sort of a play by play, so if you hang on 'til the end, you might get the gist of what I've been teasing you with over the past few months. 

While on the other Coast, I met with a lot of people who really made the experience worthwhile

I had a fabulous dinner with my L.A. Blogueras in Los Feliz - women I initially met through twitter and bonded with at my first BlogHer several years ago (Anna, Rachel & Monique). They listened to me, and gave me sage advice on a West Coast life. 

Monique graciously took me to two L'Oreal Paris events celebrating their 40th Anniversary during the weekend of the Golden Globes where I got pampered, got swag, got to ignore celebrities, and got to wear a brand new dress I picked up at Nordstrom Rack.

Rachel took me to see one of my favorite things - Flamenco! - and let me go on and on about my fears. In her strong maternal way, she straight up told me that I was over-thinking everything and that I needed to ease up on myself. Advice I'm still taking  in bit by bit every time I get too heady.

Sorayu introduced me to her friend, a kindred spirit (Lawyer / Actor) who sat with me for lunch at The Grove, reminding me that I was in Los Angeles for a reason. Yes, indeed. And that in the end it's all going to be ok, no matter what.

My friend Mas introduced me to a New Yorker living in Los Angeles, who in turn invited me to dinner with a few of her closest friends, who just happen to ROCK. Before I arrived at the dinner I was honestly itching to go back to New York, but I had a very inspired talk with one of her cohorts who motivated me to push forward and embrace the changes I had set into motion. Once again reminding me that I was there for a reason, meeting them for a reason, feeling really understood and in my element among them.

As I was sitting there sort-of awkwardly embracing change, my eyes welling up with tears during my caterpillar-butterfly process, walking on the streets alone (because no one walks in L.A.!) I got a phone call from a producer I've been working with on a webseries, letting me know that the company wants to meet with me to get me involved with a film they're making. Yay to that! 

Doing work I love on whatever Coast is welcome, it's just more comfortable to do it when I'm home, among family and friends.  But this experience taught me that I am not alone on this journey. Because even on the other coast, I have people who support me and my dreams - who are looking out for me - and for that I feel totally blessed. 

All of this to say (without actually saying it) I'm making a move in my life.   I'm doing my best to make an informed decision about a life on the West Coast. I'm teetering, I'm scared, and I'm thinking it through. Regardless of the Coast I live on, I am diving deeper into acting and's happening"The winds of change are blowing wild and free," but no one promised it would be easy. 

This experience was a bit of a looking-glass, 1) showing me that I am more courageous than I could have ever imagined; 2) allowing me to reflect on my life and seeing that I have grown as a person, an artist, a woman and 3) showing me that I am on a journey that will allow me to spread my wings.

I just have to let go of the fear, and fly.