I walked into Church today and pleaded with God to help free me of my anger. It seems that it's just one thing after the other and I can't get my head on straight to assess where I should begin...how to troubleshoot my own problems.
Earlier this week, I did an on camera interview with this novice director. I did it for free. I got a large coffee out of it. A coffee for two hours of prep time and four hours on the day of the shoot. I went home starving, but I felt good about my work. Later in the week I asked this guy for a copy of the interview. He said no and actually hung up the telephone on me. Anyway, I didn't sign any type of release... In the end I told him that the result of my work product was not to be used for his project. He actually responded, "you don't need to impress me with your legal words..." Ay Dios Mio, dame paciencia...Can you see where this is going? I have been very upset by the whole thing and the fact that this dude is being an ass for no reason.
As an attorney I want everything laid out in writing. But as an actress just trying to build her career dealing with people also trying to build their respective careers, there's isn't a lot of paperwork involved. And let’s face it, I've always been better at helping others than I am at helping myself. I've got to be a better lawyer when it comes to protecting ME. Needless to say, I want nothing to do with this guy ever again.
Fast forward to Sunday where we left the house as a family for an hour, to return to see the four foot concrete planter broken in front of our house. The people next door - whom I've never met and whose names I do not know were having a party. The eight year old who was running around outside unsupervised fessed up to having broken it with his ten year old cousin. I asked to speak to the mother, and both the aunt and mom came out (which I found out later are the guests of the tenants), apparently having been drinking and the attitudes that accompany drunkenness. Both their kids were involved and although they tried to cover it up, when their kids were honest about it they were yelled at - but it seemed they were being scolded for telling the truth. Those parents have no intention of paying for the damage.
I'd called the cops before I'd found out it was the little boy who'd done it. When the cops came I told them I wasn't going to fill out a report against two children and asked them for their advice on what I could do. The cops decided to talk to the parents. At that point those two defensive mothers acted like they'd never heard about what happened. So now it's a "mystery." The planter costs a few hundred dollars. I just want it replaced. Why can't they just own up to the problem and take care of this without having to go to Court? And how can I go to Court now when the property owner doesn't call me and I don't know the names of the liars next door?
And the cops are there telling me not to fuel the fire because they can tell those people are going to cause us more grief than anything. Great.
So I'm sitting here unable to think clearly and I'm brooding. Steam out of my ears, eyes red, angry pants McGee, who has been licensed to practice law since 2005... and still feels defenseless. A litigator who hates to be litigious: Ironic. I hope my anger dissipates so I can get my brains back soon...get the ass to give me my work product or at the very least prevent him from publishing my work product...and get the other asses to pay for the damage.
I hope today turns into a Lush Lunes. I really do. Keep me in your prayers so I can stop letting anger get the best of me.