I Posed for the NOH8 campaign.

On Sunday I participated in a photo shoot for the NOH8 campaign. It was exhilarating! The people, the energy, the cause....

What's that you ask? Well, here's some info: 

On November 4th, 2008, Proposition 8 passed, amending the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage.

In the wake of the defeat, there has been a groundswell of initiative from within the community at a grassroots level. Seizing this opportunity, new political and protest organizations are forming almost daily. The NO H8 Campaign is a photo project and silent protest created by celebrity

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Is Law School Worth It?

A Latina recently reached out to me and asked me whether or not she should go to law school, considering the state of the economy. If you read my post, "Excuse Me You're Stepping All Over My Dreams" you know what my response is. But I think the Aspiring-Licenciada in question  has the same questions many others in her shoes have: Should I go to law school if theres' a chance I won't land a job when I graduate?

This was my reply, which I hope will help others

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Family. You Cant Live With 'Em. Can You Live Without 'Em?

Growing up in a large Puerto Rican household, [five aunts, one uncle, thirty-five cousins just on my maternal side] everyone knew everyone's business. And better than that, every one comments on everyone's business. Always.



We are never supposed to speak bad about our elders (aunts, uncles, parents and especially grand parents) to anyone outside the family. Nor can you express your opinion about their behavior to them directly. Why? Because it's disrespectful. Even as I write this, I am reminded of my mothers recent comment to me: "I hope you're not writing about the family." Oh but I am...

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My Biological Clock is...

Ticking? Not Ticking? How do you know? Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) of My Cousin Vinny (1992) was pretty clear that it was time for her to have a baby.


And according to society and cultural norms for Latinas, at thirty, I should be married and having babies. What?! That's too soon!

Sheesh.
I'm not married.
I have no babies.
Have I failed?

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And the winner of the book giveaway is... [drum roll please]

The Virtual Book Tour went well yesterday!

As promised, I submitted the comments to random.org to pick a winner. There were ten comments, seven of which were made by individuals other than BronzeWord Latino Book Tours or the Author: 

#1,2,3,6,7,8,10

This is a screenshot of the comments in order:

This is a screenshot of the numerical value chosen by random.org today 1/15/10: 

Congratulations "Alicia" You're a Winner!!! 

Alicia - please send me an email directly with your contact information, so the publisher may send you the book! Enjoy!!

A HUGE thanks to all of you who participated!

René Has Two Last Names: An Interview with the Author Rene Colaito Lainez

A Latina of Puerto Rican descent, I follow the tradition of using two surnames (my fathers last name, then my mothers last name). I feel both surnames are important because they are a part of who I am, my culture and My Story.Has Two Last Names virtual book tour, hosted by BronzeWord.

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Sports, Love and Cable

You never really know who you’re dating until you get cable – or try to watch it with your significant other...especially if they're a sports fanatic. 

If you were an avid Sex and the City viewer, you may remember the episode “Games People Play,” where Samantha dates a sports fan. Samantha thought this guy was just a basket ball fan and that her woes would end once the season was over. But she failed to understand that he was a sports fan – that’s all inclusive. When the season for one sport ends, another begins. 

When I saw this episode I really thought that her experience was really just sort of random. Little did I know that it was very close to the life I would eventually lead. 

I’ve been with my partner a very long time now and I firmly believe that I only really got to know him when I got cable a year ago. I know it sounds crazy, but until you understand a persons taste in television, you really don’t know them. 

Without cable or TV, we lived in our little worlds where we’d rent movies or go out to eat. But my boyfriend was always a HUGE Mets fan. HUGE! He would listen to WFAN- The Fan on the car radio during baseball season, and I would endure it, knowing that it would eventually end. His moods were pulled by the status of the Mets at any given time (can you imagine how things were last season? Sheesh.) 

I would tune out when he’d be yelling at the radio “tu madre!” and various other profanities when things weren’t in favor of his team. But I was a good girlfriend, being very supportive, and basically playing along. But, I would hang onto the notion that baseball season would end, and he would calm down. 

Nevertheless, things soon changed when I got a flat screen tv and cable. This man is a Sports Fanatic. I knew this. I accepted this. But did I know I’d be watching him yell at the screen when the Mets were playing, when the Jets were playing, when St. John’s college basket ball would be on… holy. I didn’t know that his channel surfing would go from the game to the post-game sports talk…. That this sports world really never ends???? 

You want to test your relationship? Try reaching for the remote. 

We all have a bit of a fanatic in us. I’m obsessed with my blog. So I get his passion for sports, in a way. Nevertheless, I adore this man. Sports Fanatic or not. He knows that I don’t share his passion and that I scold him when he wishes death on the ref’s during a football game. He ignores my long rants about putting negative energy into the world. In turn, I switch the computer on when he’s immersed in “his team.”

He doesn’t mind that I ignore his sports tantrums when I sit at my computer and write, as long as I look up once in a while with an empathetic remark or start yelling “J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS” or “LET’S GO METS!”

Relationships are all about compromise. And so although we each have our "alone" time to get completely involved in our little worlds, we make sure we spend quality time together and communicate! Because as much as we have in common, we're two very different people with very different interests. 

Its important that we grow together. As a Team. Our Very Own Little Team. And in that respect, I am a fanatic about my team.

Cultural Divide

I recently read a blog about the division in Latin culture. The post specifically discussed the division between Puerto Ricans and Dominicans. I thought it was a brave discussion, because for the most part, we'd rather ignore the issue rather than confront it. 

After reading the article, here is what I was inspired to write: 

Many of us are afraid to bring up the prejudices in our culture, for fear of offending one over the other. I myself am writing with some trepidation.


I have cousins that are half Puerto Rican and half Dominican. Because the rest of our family is Puerto Rican, they choose sides to “represent” – but why do they have to? It makes absolutely no sense to me.


...But the prejudices go beyond these two beautiful Caribbean islands. My boyfriend is half Puerto Rican and half Ecuadorian [he calls himself BorEcua] and he too has to choose sides when it comes to being with each side of his family. It gets to a point where one may feel that they are not accepted fully by either culture because they are "mixed.”


I think the bias derives from...a desire to label one culture "better" than the other: For example, the notion of the jibaro (country folk) versus the city folk; one being more educated than the other; one being more “Spanish” than the other; one more pure than the other. Which in essence is Racism, whether we choose to see it or not.


If you think about the movie, “I Like It Like That” the character played by Rita Moreno has a line about being of “pure Castillian blood.” Why is that so important? Who cares? What is “pure” anyway? Why is there a fight over which speaks the better Spanish? Or who is more sophisticated? We sure don’t fight over who is more Taino or who is more African. Why? After all these years it still boils down to RACE. Therein lies our prejudices. And it really is a shame.


New York is quite the salad bowl of cultures, where we don’t have to assimilate to get by – we can just be who we are and express where we come from. Where we can eat mofongo or mangu, drink a Malta or make Morir Soñando, and no one cares.

...There is so much division in every culture, we can at least do our very best to stay united within the Latin Culture…because divided, we will only fall.

What do you think? Do you think our prejudices are based on Race? Or something different altogether?


While you consider this, I'd like to leave you with two quotes, that I think are fitting: 

"I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to" -Alice Walker


"We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic." -Jimmy Carter

You're Invited to a Pity Party!

What's a pity party? Well, it's when misery tries to get company. A good definition can be found at UrbanDictionary.com

The best example would be to quote our adorable little friend, Eeyore, who lives in all of us:

"Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water.
'Pathetic,' he said. 'That's what it is. Pathetic.' He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other side. Then he looked at himself in the water again.
'As I thought,' he said. 'No better from this side. But nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that's what it is.' " -Winnie the Pooh

Suffice it to say, we've all let Eeyore escape and pollute our little worlds with negative thoughts. It's not usually for a prolonged period of time.  However, have you been around people who never get out of this funk? I call them DOWNERS. I cannot be around such people for an extended period of time. Call me a jerk, but honestly, I need to be around uplifting people. I love positive energy! Unfortunately, not all of you can avoid the pity parties because they happen to thrown by a loved one or a partner. Gee Wiz!!!

I remember there was a time in my life where the response to "How have you been?" was "eh, could be better." That was always my response! I didn't realize I was being negative all the time until I made a friend who was always positive. He would always say how great things were, even if they could be better. Was it a lie? Well, maybe. But isn't it a lie when we ask people, "How are you?!" Think about how many times we say this and to whom.... it's usually part of the introduction, and not necessarily an invitation to vent. But unfortunately, many Eeyores out there jump at the opportunity to vent. What do we do?

Well, being a former Eeyore, I was exposed to so much positivity that it caught on. I realized, the more I say "things are good," well by golly, they actually become good! Who knew?

What you put out in the universe comes back to you. So put a lot of positivity out there, and you will get that in return. But if you're stuck with a "downer," here's to hoping your positivity is contagious, and maybe they'll put Eeyore away for a little while.

Sending you all positive thoughts!!!

A letter to my followers

I wanted to take a moment to wish my followers a happy 2010!!! This past year has been quite an adventure. I've come to realize that the path to happiness branches off in many directions.     

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