Pitch Like A Girl

I recently attended this conference by one of the Bar Associations which was free. It was for attorneys "in transition." The guest speaker was a woman who charges $300.00 per hour to help you get the career that you want - whether you want to get out of the legal field or transition into a different legal environment, etc. I heard about her on a job search board and spoke to her last year then nixed the idea because I decided not to spend money I didn't have.

A year later, I'm at the same job.

So I jumped on this opportunity to hear her speak. She's super charismatic and gave some interesting advice, essentially telling me to do the opposite of what I'm doing: no internet job boards, no head hunters, just network, request informational interviews and be armed with your pitch.

While I was there working in a group setting on my pitch, I met some people there that had really interesting careers that they hated. Needless to say, it's not the ideal networking environment, since everyone wants to get out of where they are, and no one wants to reveal where they work so as to avoid losing their jobs before they're ready. It was very Spy vs. Spy.


Anyway, the guest speaker put us into groups and made us work on our transitional pitch. This is what I came up with:

"I'm an attorney with experience in litigation and intellectual property.
I have been employed in the fields of marketing and teaching.
I am looking for an In House position that will allow me to utilize
my transactional skills, such as writing, analysis and negotiation.
I hope to work with a company that fosters professional growth
and a healthy work/life balance in the fields of Music, Film, Literature, or the Media."

I don't know if this is something I'm supposed to put up on my wall and stare at every day or if I'm actually supposed to say this to people. Needless to say, I left that event with a lot more questions than answers, but fueled with a lot of hope.

I've requested informational interviews to no avail. My networking sucks and all I've got is this damn pitch. And a sprinkle of hope. Let's see how far it takes me.

[Insert scene from the film, "Bubble Boy," where he hands the teller a bag of coins to get on the bus and asks how far it will take him. The teller looks at the coins and says sternly into the microphone: "Take a step back... that far."]

Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

Dear little girl,

I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. And I want to tell you how deeply sorry I am.

I could not save you, no matter how hard I tried. I was so protective of you, trying to make sure that no one would hurt you. And then in an instant, when I wasn't looking, the light in your eyes died, the sweet in your voice soured, and I failed to recognize the signs that flashed in front of me screaming "HELP HER".

I wish I would have known sooner. I wish I could have stopped the harm before it started. I wish I could have comforted you and told you it wasn't your fault. I am sorry I was not there.

I am sorry one hundred times over that I cannot change the past or heal your wounds. I am sorry that I do not have the courage to speak these words to you.

My biggest fear in this life is that someone will hurt you again, I will lose you, and I will have failed to save you once again. I only want to shield you from the horrors of this world - the worst of which you have already seen. So forgive me, my sunshine, for the fear that consumes me.

I know that you are a woman now, strong, in charge, confident, happy, and you are not mired by the excruciating wounds of the past. You made it through that darkness and you blaze a trail wherever you go. You are a survivor and an inspiration to us all.

I will try to let go of the fear in my heart and the guilt that weighs on me. I do not wish that you ever have to relive this sadness. One day, I will be brave enough to show you these words, and you will know that wherever you are in this world, I will always be here, waiting to hold your hand through anything.

I love you . God Bless you.

~Li








*photograph of one of my ancestors

Carry Your Baggage...

Dear Ms. DM of US Airways:
Did you really have to take out the blasted measuring tape for my carry on? The same one I came in with? Are you serious? Do you realize that the little pouch in the front is the only thing making it exceed a few inches, and when I remove it, the pouch will flatten and it will measure just fine? You DO know that I'm just going to put it back? Are you actually looking at my license again? Ok, I will take it out and open my luggage in front of the whole world (three couples behind me) so you can measure my bag - the bag classified as a carry-on bag by Liz freakin Claiborne. The bag they had no problem with at LaGuardia. The bag that passed before the eyes and hands of at least 5 US Airways employees. (I knew I shoulda just done the Self check-in. ALWAYS listen to that little voice). Ok world, watch as I kneel on the floor in all likelihood flashing some butt cleavage. Everyone, lets take a long look at the rolled up pink polk-a-dot bathing suit and my flat iron. Watch as I grumble and Ms. DM flashes an irritating smile at me. Arrrrggg.

So Ms. DM, now do you see that it measures fine with the baggy that carries 3oz. fluids INSIDE the carry-on bag? Ohhhh you DO see how the pouch flattens. WOW what a surprise! Now YOU can watch as I hold up the line, reopen my bag, and put it back in the front pocket because you KNOW security is going to make me take it out anyway!

I showed her. You can kiss my arse DM of US Airways!

[stomping through the security check-point]

Arrrrrgggg I hate you US Airways!

My freakin' NY temper. [seething]

Alright, let's take a breath...
I know we both said some things...
But just get me home safely, US Airways. Can you do that?








*photograph taken at airport.

Panic on a Plane

After waiting one hour at the terminal for a reason why our plane was delayed, we finally board ... then I hear an announcement that I never want to hear again.

So, here are my frantic SOS messages via BlackBerry Messenger and Text, and these are the random responses of my friends:

Participants: Me, Che, Buttercup, Soraya, and FriendEd

MESSAGES

Me to All: The last thing you want to hear the pilot say over the loudspeaker as your moving on the runway is, "I'm surprised they're actually letting us off the ground," even if the stewardess immediately scratches her ass in front of the plane.

FriendEd: What the hell are you talking about? Lol

Che: [sending me a pic of his car]

Me: I'm on the plane trying to get home alive from North Carolina. The accounts as you read them are true.

FriendEd: Lord have mercy!!

Buttercup: Lmao what?

Me to Che and Buttercup: Dude that is what the pilot said and yes she actually scratched her ass as the pilot was saying it, for the whole plane to see.

Buttercup: Seriously, so you're not back yet?? :(

Me to Buttercup: No I should have been back to NY by now, but I might die on the plane, so...

Che: That sucks babe. Hey, do you like the pic of my BMW?

Me to Che: Yeah it's great.

Me to Soraya and Buttercup: The plane moved 2 feet & stopped saying, "well folks we're grounded," and now the pilot is walking about the cabin. Niiice.

Soraya: Do you think you'll make it home tonight?

Me to Soraya and Buttercup: I dunno if I'll make it back to NYC tonight. But, on the plus side, the alleged "hot guy" from lipstick jungle* is on plane.

Buttercup: Who?

Me to Buttercup: I dunno who that is but he's wearing funky glasses & he's like girl-skinny. Some people are really excited about that. Anyway, Save these messages God forbid something happens. Send its to the news. They'll care since there's a celebrity on the plane.

Buttercup: Ask someone or take a pic lol and BBM me lol

Soraya: Are you ok?

Me to Buttercup and Soraya: I'm ok. I just freaked out a little. About the plane, not the actor.

Buttercup: Why? U don't like actors? LOL


After substantial delay on the runway...

Me to ALL: Ok, we're taking off, pray for me.



After sporadic moments of panic, a lot of turbulence, some prayers, and a variety of random statements and behavior from the awkward stewardess, I arrived home, safe and sound.

*I later found out the actor was Robert Earl Buckley.







**photo taken at airport

"Think Green" with your Time

With so much focus on saving the environment before its too late, I often think of what "too late" means. Consider this quote from the film "A lot like love:"

"This is your life, right now, it doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet."

Ashton Kutchers character wanted to get his "ducks in a row" before he actually lived. Many of us believe things have to be a certain way & that we have to do certain things to be successful people. Yet all around us the world is whispering: act now- don't wait.

Life is happening regardless of whether we try to postpone it until we're "ready." We need to save ourselves from ourselves before its too late. Before time withers away in a blink and we sit there stunned at our wastefulness, scrambling to get bits & pieces back, simply because we were too afraid to just BE.

So take that trip, see that friend, take that class, leave that job, love with your whole heart. Take that chance. Go dance, sing & be merry, because all we have is NOW and no one promises tomorrow.