The Inauguration of Obama - Oh what a day this will be.
When the polls came in two months ago, I thought, this cannot be real. I started to clap and cry and I ran down my stairs to my mother's apartment yelling, "He won, He won!" Earlier that day, My eighty nine year old grandfather and seventy eight year old grand mother went to vote. I went with my sister and my mother (who was in crutches) to vote. Later that afternoon I took by seventy year old uncle to vote. And He Won.
Never did I ever think this would happen in my lifetime. But I am so glad to have witnessed the day we made HISTORY.
I will be watching tomorrow at noon!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Throughout my life I have been a giver. The go-to person. The problem solver. The mother hen. After looking at myself and my life for a long time, I realized that I needed to stop "mothering" certain people in my life. Why? Because I need someone to turn to as well, and it took some courage for me to start to ASK for what I DESERVE, NEED and WANT.
When you start to change who you are, the faces you see around you will also change.
With some relationships asking for what I want has worked: communication is key. With my family and with my partner, it has done wonders and a weight literally lifted from my shoulders because they were willing to do their parts - to work on our relationship.
However, in other relationships, this request was not received well. This is usually a sign that these faces may not be around for very long.
There were people whom I loved, friends who were so used to taking without the expectation that they should reciprocate in some way. Because I allowed it. But as I matured and I had the courage to say, "wait a minute, your behavior is not acceptable," this came as a shock and ended up in rejection. This happens. People don't usually like change.
With one person, the bridge was burned when she refused to acknowledge her role. She said, "I'm in a selfish place right now and I cannot be a true friend to you." I am glad she was honest, but I was not OK with that.
So when it came to fixing the friendship, I told her that if she wanted to salvage what was left, She would have to be the responsible one this time. I am ready and willing to do the hard work, but I would not take the reins this time. I could not play that "mothering" role anymore.
Well, it has been four months and she has declined the challenge twice, as I expected she would.
It's a tough life lesson when you realize that the type of people you gravitate toward are not necessarily the healthiest for you to be around. Giving and receiving should be mutual. Friendships require commitment and reciprocation. You do not have a friendship if one person gives and the other person just takes. In that case you simply have a problem.You don't already know this, then you will only learn this as you start on a journey toward a healthy place in your own life.
We had a good friendship that lasted about ten years. But some people are just around for a season.As seasons change, people change, we prosper, we grow, and that means we grow apart as well. Learning when to let go, well, that's the hardest part.
The last of myself that I was able to give to was the knowledge that I would not accept less than I deserve. I would ASK for what I DESERVE, NEED and WANT. What I received in return was freedom from a friendship that ran its course.
 After she declined my first request, she made an attempt of giving us a lunch to work on our friendship - I was unable to accept the invitation because I was out of state. But I think that attempt was not real but a way to say, "hey I tried," without actually having to try. Subsequently when I posed the challenge the second time, she declined.