THE DAY WE MADE HISTORY

The Inauguration of Obama - Oh what a day this will be.

When the polls came in two months ago, I thought, this cannot be real. I started to clap and cry and I ran down my stairs to my mother's apartment yelling, "He won, He won!" Earlier that day, My eighty nine year old grandfather and seventy eight year old grand mother went to vote. I went with my sister and my mother (who was in crutches) to vote. Later that afternoon I took by seventy year old uncle to vote. And He Won.

Never did I ever think this would happen in my lifetime. But I am so glad to have witnessed the day we made HISTORY.


I will be watching tomorrow at noon!

Learning about Giving and Receiving

Throughout my life I have been a giver. The go-to person. The problem solver. After looking at myself and my life for a long time, I have realized that I need to stop mothering. I need someone to go to as well - and it took some courage for me to start to ASK for what I DESERVE, NEED and WANT.

With some relationships this has worked. With my family and partner, it has done wonders and a weight lifts from my shoulders when I see just how willing they are to do their part - to work on our relationships.

However, in other relationships, this request was not received well. There were people whom I loved, friends in my life who were so used to taking without the expectation that they should reciprocate in some way. When I finally said, "wait a minute, your behavior is not acceptable," this came as a shock and ended up in rejection. With one person, the bridge was burned when she refused to acknowledge her role and she did not want to remain friends. With another person, she said, "I'm in a selfish place right now and its ok. Even though I appreciate you feeding me, giving me a place to stay for studying and taking care of me, I cannot do that for you." Please note, I did not request for her to do the same for me, but to hear me out when I spoke to her about where she was lacking as a friend and to work on that with me. Well, she was finally honest with herself in essentially saying, "I can take but I cannot give and I'm ok with that." I am an understanding person, BUT I was not OK with that.

So when it came to fixing the friendship, I told her that if she wanted to heal US, SHE would have to be the responsible one this time. I am ready and willing to do the hard work at any time, but I WILL NOT FIX THIS FOR HER or take up the reins anymore when it comes to getting her in gear. I cannot play that role anymore. Well, its been four months and she has declined the challenge twice, as I expected she would do. (After she declined my first request, she made an attempt of giving us a lunch hour on one of two work days to work on our friendship - I was unable to accept the invite because I was out of state- but I think that attempt was not real but a way to say, "hey i tried," without actually having to try. Subsequently when I posed the challenge the 2nd time, she declined.)

It's a tough life lesson when you realize that the type of people you gravitate toward are not necessarily the healthiest for you to be around. We had a good friendship - ten years. But it ran its course and as the saying goes, some people are just around for a season. We've grown apart.

Will I be responsive to her months or years down the line should either of them have matured as women? I do not know.

In the interim, I am mourning the loss of the friendships.